For those interested in my life story, here it is . . .

As with many children, I was very shy as a young child. The New England suburban world around me felt alien. I saw fairies and started a small club in First Grade to convince my girlfriends of their existence. During school lunch hour, I became the playground “tourguide”, showing kids where the fairies and elves lived amongst the flora outside.

When I was 16, I found a book in a dark, musty boutique that was all about the mystical hidden worlds. It was a Theosophy book by Alice Bailey. From then on, I could finally start putting some words to my experiences.

By the age 28, I was experiencing many unusual inner mystical experiences. I moved to Marin County and found it difficult to hold a conventional job; so I started a highly unconventional non-sexual Geisha girl service. It was very successful, but did not last long because I soon gained a small inheritence. This allowed me to go back to meditation, yoga and inner experiences all day long...in solitude.

Over the next 10 years, I continued the spiritual quest, traveled through India often, and learned many a fascinating thing.

In 1991, when the Gulf War broke out, I became very ill due to a spider bite, parasites from India, poor diet and too much purification fire moving through me. After a year of trying every possible diet and supplement, yet still dropping down to 83 lbs and death knocking on my door, I met two experts on the Raw Food hygienic lifestyle. I healed within weeks, becoming healthier than ever in my life. For many years since, I have been grateful for this natural diet.

In 1994, I started professionally to do a lot of bodywork. It was an outgrowth of my previous years of mystic inclinations… Three years later, I took many courses in order to have credentials and pick up some extra training. I got my Reiki Master Practitioner’s License, Levels 1 & 2 of Healing Touch International, and credits in Syntropy International. I had also previously studied Shiastu and Feldenkrais to some extent, general Swedish massage and the Barbara Brennon courses on the Human Energy Field, along with several other expressions of the same. In 1986, I was in the Lucis Trust Arcane School and have studied the entire Alice Bailey blue book collection.

Taking all these courses was helpful, to some extent, in understanding what was already happening subtly and spontaneously for me. The truth is, my healing work has not really changed as a result of these outer studies. But I have an improved, more confident sense of how to describe it and understand it all now. Frankly, I think the best things in life are simple. It is more a matter of stepping out of the way…

I have also been a case study for Dr. Lee Sannella's book entitled, “The Kundalini Experience: Psychosis or Transcendence”. For 9 full years, 1983-1992, I endured the most intense and remarkable primal energies (kriyas), resulting in cosmic visions, hand and body gestures (mudras), bija mantras (speaking in sanskrit tongues), dances with unseen forces (leelas & bhavas), and other forms of the paranormal. Finally, the wild ecstasy and “dark night of the soul” subsided. and left me with some gentle gifts of insight and healing. Looking back...I feel it is a relief to have the fires calmed now – but grace to have been given those experiences, which continue to this day, but in a more controlled, subtle fashion.

for those interested in reading books on Kundalini and Spiritual Rebirth, please click HERE

Kundalini fire is sometimes equated with transmuted sexual fire that rises up the body, instead of downward in the usual biological fashion. This kundalini is perhaps why I have a gift in real, authentic Tantra. For much of my life, I have been strangely celibate – not that I wanted that. I believe that sex can be sacred. But, more often, we all tend to fall down into the simple “biology” of it, thereby losing its powerfully cosmic quality and purity. Like it or not, my body seems to “know” this and always holds to the higher road. As a result, I tend to share in the energies, rather than share in the “home runs”. Full body alignment is what I'm most interested in.

Though sexual energy may be different than "Holy Spirit" or spiritual energy, it still very much has its value in the way of good physical, emotional and mental health, without which spiritual health cannot happen. And what if sexual energy or "primal energy" that is aligned with God energy or "source" is in reality the most powerful magical invocation of all creation? Then, surely, tremendous levels of purity and timeliness would be needed.

One thing that I always see in my visions is the Garden of Eden story played out. There are several interpretations of that story and also of the Jesus and Mary Magdeline story (read “The Da Vinci Code” by Dan Brown). Many mysteries there are … and sometimes when all is safe … mysteries are unveiled.

* Lotuslamp is my Tibetan name, given to me long ago,
by Kalu Rinpoche at the Kalachakra Initiation in San Francisco.
However, I am not a Buddhist, nor any one religion.



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